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September 21, 2020
It can feel really intimidating to choose a gift for a friend who has had a miscarriage. Even though it can feel scary to choose a gift for someone who has miscarried, the perfect gift can make such a difference for your friend. If you are unsure of what best to give a friend who has miscarried, I would love to help you!
It can sometimes take a lot of intentional effort to think of all the emotions someone who has miscarried might be feeling, and it can be especially difficult if you’ve never experienced it yourself. As someone who has experienced miscarriage personally, I try to send a gift that acknowledges the different spiritual, intellectual, social, and physical care that bereaved moms need. Below is my list of the best types of sympathy gifts to give, and a list of my favorite individual items from each category. I hope this helps as you work to find the perfect gift for your friend!
Jewelry is one of my favorite gifts to give after a friend has miscarried. Oftentimes when you miscarry, you are left with very few physical reminders of your child, so a piece of remembrance jewelry can become a treasured gift. Oftentimes, women who miscarry have not yet named their child, but the two necklaces below were made specifically with women who have miscarried in mind.
Remembered Forever Infinity Necklace: The petite infinity charm on this necklace symbolizes eternity and boundless love. I designed it specifically with my own miscarriage in mind. I did not share my miscarriage with very many people, so I liked the idea that this necklace would not immediately signal to my friends and coworkers that I had experienced miscarriage. I could have worn it every day without being asked about it, which was appealing to me.
Forget Me Not Necklace: The forget me not flower has long been a symbol of remembrance of those we’ve lost, which is why I love it for a miscarriage. Similar to the Infinity Necklace, it doesn’t overtly signal that you have had a miscarriage, but it is a bit more overt with the symbolism. If your friend has named her baby, we also have an initial charm that you can add to the order to create her a piece of customized jewelry.
These memorial keepsakes are a a perfect way to commemorate your friend’s miscarriage, while also being thoughtful and considerate of her loss. We love how these gifts are intentional and thoughtful. They acknowledge your friend’s loss, and lend a little comfort at the same time.
Light in Dark Places Candle: The message on this candle could not be more perfect, “May it be a light to you in dark places when all other lights go out.” Honestly, I would have absolutely LOVED this candle after my miscarriage. It is super meaningful, feels very acknowledging, and it seriously smells amazing. There is something special about lighting a candle in your darkest moments that just feels fitting.
Collecting Your Tears Handkerchief: This handkerchief features the verse Psalm 56:8, which feels so comforting when you’ve lost a pregnancy to miscarriage. I love how it reminds us that we are not alone! I’ve had so many friends who have shared how they keep this handkerchief in their purse to pull out in those unexpected moments when the tears hit. Others have framed it and displayed it in their home. It’s beautiful and so meaningful.
Your friend probably needs time to reflect and process her loss. It might be tempting for her to stuff her emotions and keep moving on through life as normal, but it can make it really hard eventually. These reflection gifts are a great way to gently encourage her to process her loss.
The Reflect Journal Set and Felt Tip Pen Set: These two coordinating items are the perfect way to set aside moments to be able to express ALL their feelings in a private space. Journaling is so healthy for the heart after loss, and this journal set is a great way to encourage that action. I especially love pairing this journaling set with the Light in Dark Places candle. The act of journaling alone to a lit candle can be super healing.
Cedar + Rose Floral Bundle: I love this smudge stick after loss as a way to to help release that negative energy and nourish the soul. All the flowers and plants in the bundle are hand forged in California, so the quality is really amazing. Some choose to ignite one end and let smoke, while others display the floral bundle in their home. It is so beautiful that it also makes a great display piece.
Self care is so so important after you experience pregnancy loss. Her body and soul are in need of so much care, and it might be hard for her to know how to best take care of herself. These gifts are some of teh best way to encourage self care after miscarriage.
Be Still Shower Steamers: This is hands down my favorite self care gift you can give someone who has just miscarried. Many times after you miscarry, your doctor directs you not to bathe until your body heals. This is a bummer for people who find a lot of comfort in taking a hot bath for self care. These shower steamers are a great work around! Your friend can enjoy the benefits of aromatherapy by placing a tablet on the shower floor and allowing hot water to dissolve and release an enveloping steam. Scents include lavender, eucalyptus, and lavender.
Flowering Tea: This flowering tea is a really special way to honor and commemorate a loss. The ritual of brewing tea can be very calming, and this tea is super special! After pouring the hot water over the tea, it unfurls to reveal a beautiful flower. So special and so acknowledging.
So many people find comfort in everyday items in their home that remind them of their loss in a comforting type of way. We created these few gifts for the home as gentle reminders.
I Will Sustain You Mug: This mug has an amazing reminder that God will be there to sustain you in your darkest moments. It is perfect for morning coffee as a reminder first thing in the day that you are not alone.
Wind Chime: These wind chimes are a gentle reminder of the little one that was lost to miscarriage. We love it when people install this wind chime in their garden or on your front porch and let the sound of the bells remind them of their loved one.
I hope this list was helpful! We have so many more items available for moms who have gone through miscarriage, and a full collection of curated gifts specifically designed for miscarriage. You can check it out here, if you are still not sure what would be best for your friend!
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