Thoughts on Anger and Grief

January 13, 2020

Thoughts on Anger and Grief

As someone who has spent a lot of time angry, I have a lot of thoughts about anger. I’m one of those people that you’ll rarely see moping, but you’ve got a good chance of seeing rage-y. 😂So as someone who has been there, done that, here is the most important thing I have to say ➖Anger always has a story to tell ➖Because anger is almost never about the thing that sets you off. It’s about feeling used, or being broken, stinging from loss, or coping with the pain of suffering.

And this was REALLY important for me — your anger is not something you need to be ashamed of. You are allowed to feel angry. Things happen in life that you SHOULD feel angry about. It’s ok. For a long time I had a pattern of raging and then sitting in a hot puddle of shame for days afterwards. It sucked, and it was an emotional pattern that never brought me relief.

It’s been a hard journey for me, but I’ve slowly learned to lean towards my anger, and learn what she has to tell me. So now, when I feel angry, I sit with it. I give myself permission to feel angry and I pattern it out different. Instead of waiting until it bubbles out in weird ways, I put words to it. I say “I am so angry,” instead of huffing and spewing my feelings. I slow down. I apologize. I give myself grace. I figure out the root cause.

It’s ok to feel angry. And the holidays can seriously make this all a lot worse. So cut yourself some slack, be brave enough to be honest with your anger, and find someone safe who can support you in it. You can do this. XOXO, Johanna

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