Thoughts on anger and grief
Thoughts on anger and grief
January 13, 2020
As someone who has spent a lot of time angry, I have a lot of thoughts about anger. I’m one of those people that you’ll rarely see moping, but you’ve got a good chance of seeing rage-y. 😂So as someone who has been there, done that, here is the most important thing I have to say ➖Anger always has a story to tell ➖Because anger is almost never about the thing that sets you off. It’s about feeling used, or being broken, stinging from loss, or coping with the pain of suffering.
And this was REALLY important for me — your anger is not something you need to be ashamed of. You are allowed to feel angry. Things happen in life that you SHOULD feel angry about. It’s ok. For a long time I had a pattern of raging and then sitting in a hot puddle of shame for days afterwards. It sucked, and it was an emotional pattern that never brought me relief.
It’s been a hard journey for me, but I’ve slowly learned to lean towards my anger, and learn what she has to tell me. So now, when I feel angry, I sit with it. I give myself permission to feel angry and I pattern it out different. Instead of waiting until it bubbles out in weird ways, I put words to it. I say “I am so angry,” instead of huffing and spewing my feelings. I slow down. I apologize. I give myself grace. I figure out the root cause.
It’s ok to feel angry. And the holidays can seriously make this all a lot worse. So cut yourself some slack, be brave enough to be honest with your anger, and find someone safe who can support you in it. You can do this. XOXO, Johanna
November 14, 2019
We know that grief is a journey that is unique to every single person walking that path. It can be so hard to know what to say or do for a bereaved friend. And that’s especially true during holidays when there is so much focus on joy and celebration.
That’s why, when one of our customers offered to write up a few supportive phrases that might accompany our Ring in Memory gift bells, we were thrilled to read what she wrote. What better way to personalize our gifts than by offering a heartfelt message?
Karen Mulder discovered our company when she was looking for a unique gift to send a grieving friend; she has since become a fan of laurelbox’s loving and thoughtful gifts. As the founder of a caregiving ministry Karen shares our mission to care for others who are suffering. Karen wrote a wonderful blog post on her website with suggestions for what to write for each of our bells: Ring in Memory, Ring for Love and Ring with Hope.
And, as a bonus, here’s an idea that Karen wrote, just to share with laurelbox blog readers for the Ring with Hope bell: “When you touch the Ring with Hope bell, whisper Jeremiah 29:11 several times.”
Want the full list? Head on over to Karen’s Wisdom of the Wounded website and read her post, How to Care for a Friend Who is Grieving This Christmas.
As always, thanks for caring for those who have suffered a loss.