Difficult seasons may look different for everyone. Having a friend or trusted family member there to help navigate a challenging time or period of change makes a world of difference. Take some time to acknowledge some of the people who helped you through a challenging life event. Celebrate and thank those who stood with you during a difficult season as you move through and out of that season. Showing gratitude isn’t transactional, it’s transformational. We will help you think of thoughtful ways to show gratitude through words, actions, and gifts. Laurelbox offers curated gift boxes, self-care items, and candles. Keep reading for some ideas. 

Is it just me or do we as a society need to refill our “thankfulness” tank? With the leaves starting to change and pumpkin spice creeping into everything (pumpkin spice trash bags, anyone? But I digress…) the Thanksgiving holiday will be here before we know it. However, we don’t need a Pilgrim hat and cornucopia to remind us to show gratitude. For centuries, smart people have been encouraging thankfulness. The Roman philosopher Cicero believed, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” He saw it as a cornerstone in life. Gertrude Stein famously said “Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” The novelist, poet and playwright was reminding us that we need to express our thankfulness, not just keep it to ourselves. According to the University of Colorado Boulder, it’s actually good for your health, too! A licensed counselor there writes, “Many neurochemical functions seem to activate when the brain experiences gratitude. The brain’s production of dopamine and serotonin, generally thought of as the neurotransmitters responsible for happiness, increases; stress hormones regulate to reduce fear and anxiety; and cognitive restructuring occurs by encouraging positive thinking. The Mindfulness Awareness Research Center of UCLA states that gratitude changes the neural structures in the brain, and makes us feel happier and more content. By activating the reward center of the brain, gratitude exchange (e.g. feeling grateful and appreciating others when they do something good for us) alters the way we see the world and ourselves, and regulates effective functioning of the immune system.” Is it just me who thinks that is incredible? Showing appreciation for someone transforms how our brain works and makes us healthier!

Now that we have established why we should voice our gratitude, let’s talk about when we should do so. Spoiler alert, there’s no time like the present! If you are in the middle of an intense grief journey, you may feel like waiting until you “get out” of your grief. However, the idea that you wake up one day and your grief is magically over isn’t really accurate. It’s a process, a gradual three-steps-forward-two-steps-back kind of thing. So I recommend getting that dopamine rush of gratitude sooner rather than later. It’s also important to realize if you’ve been relying heavily on a friend for support, that can be a weighty load to carry on your friend’s part. It takes a lot of effort to be a good friend and their hard work should be acknowledged. There is no sense in waiting to show your appreciation and gratitude to those who have supported you during your difficult season.

Let’s get practical. Here are just a few ways you can let someone know you are grateful for their support and appreciate all they did during your time of loss. 

Write Them a Note: Thank you notes are a lost art. In a digital age of texts, emojis, messages and emails, a thoughtfully written snail mail card shows time, attention, and intentionally. Don’t get bogged down by the words. It doesn’t have to be perfect - just heartfelt. Something as simple as, “You have been such a good friend to me during this season. Words can’t convey how much your support has meant to me. I will always be grateful for your friendship and love.” 

Make Them a Meal: Take time to cook, bake, or grill something delicious to convey your appreciation. It could be a full dinner that looks like salad, lasagna, garlic bread, and dessert or a side dish you know they love. There’s something about home-cooked goodness that brings a smile to anyone’s face. A platter of chocolate chip cookies and a note that reads, “One cookie for each time you listened to me bawl my eyes out these past few months,” would be both thoughtful and humorous. 

Return the Favor: Look for ways to show kindness and gratitude in a similar way they supported you. That might look like being a great listener if they walk through a bad breakup. It could be mowing their lawn and helping with household chores when they get the flu. Maybe they stepped in to help with school pickups and you can now be the taxi driver for their preteens for a few weeks. Whatever works best with your situation; think about ways to repay your gratitude to your friend. 

Pay It Forward: If you walk through a heavy loss, it changes you. Before we lost our second son at 36 weeks and then another child late in the first trimester, I didn’t really have an understanding of child loss or how to support a friend navigating miscarriage. But after those experiences, I was much more aware of how to care and what to say (and what not to say!) Since our losses in 2016, I have sent countless laurelboxes, meals, and messages of care to women grieving their babies because there were people in my circle who loved me so well and carried me through my grief. 

Give Them a Gift: Gifts of gratitude can be anything. It could look like one of our custom windchimes with a note, “You brought me so much peace during this hard season. May these windchimes bring peace to your backyard.” A custom candle from our sister company Candlehouse could read “You are amazing!” to remind them each day they were a light to you during your darkest grief. You could send a laurelbox full of self-care gifts with a note that reads, “You took so much of your time to love me during my loss. Take some time for yourself now.” Our heart-to-heart necklace would be a beautiful gift with a note that reads, “You showed me so much love in this season and I’ll always be grateful!” Even if you just run to Walmart and put a basket together with a bottle of wine, a bag of Boom Chicka Pop and a chocolate bar with a note that reads, “After all my drama the last few months, you’ve earned this!” Recognizing someone who supported you during a difficult season doesn’t have to be overly complicated or expensive, it just needs to be an acknowledgement of gratitude. 

We hope this blog sparked some ideas on ways to show gratitude and appreciation to those who have supported you through difficult times of life. It’s important to acknowledge care and support as a way to strengthen and deepen existing friendships and connections. Don’t put off thanking someone and letting them know how much their support meant to you. Whether you write them a note, return the favor, or find a thank you gift from Laurelbox or elsewhere, find ways to say “Thank you!” to those who have loved you in hard seasons.