During the season of life leading up to a wedding, there are many exciting events and opportunities to gather with your loved ones to celebrate the upcoming occasion. This time may also highlight that a loved one is not there to celebrate with you. Consider gifting a memorial candle as a wedding gift to honor a family member who cannot attend. This blog will provide options for remembering an absent loved one during the many wedding events one might have. Don’t be worried that including a memorial moment could dampen the mood of your joyous day. A wedding is a symbol of the progression of life itself and that means there can be joy that coexists with sorrow, beauty along with brokenness. Let’s get started. 

There are a number of significant life events that you likely will remember forever: a first kiss, school graduation, getting engaged, getting married, and having a child are some. These meaningful moments leave a lasting impression and carry you through the ups and downs of life. For many people, one of the biggest moments is their wedding day. Few events in life demand the amount of time, attention, detail (and let’s be real - money!) as a wedding. An award-winning wedding planner told Brides magazine, “I would say the general consensus is one year in advance is enough time to plan your standard, local wedding.” That generally gives couples enough time to secure a venue, hire vendors, find a dress and choose all the other elements of the big day. Think about that: an entire year to plan an event that generally lasts about six hours! That is because, for many people, the wedding day signifies their life up until that moment as well as turning the page to a new chapter. It’s the culmination of… everything! If you are a bride or someone close to the bride, it can be a stressful experience navigating all the ins and outs of wedding planning. One of my favorite movies is the Steve Martin classic Father of the Bride. He’s the loving father whose precious firstborn announces unexpectedly at the dinner table that she’s engaged. From arguing about the price of everything to navigating in-laws, hilarity ensues and it’s a must-watch for any bride in the planning process. I love the opening line from the movie that goes, “I used to think a wedding was a simple affair: boy and girl meet, boy and girl fall in love, they say ‘I do.’ I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition.” That should resonate with anyone who has planned a wedding before! Which is why wedding planning can be bittersweet for those who will be missing an important person on their special day. In the next section, we’ll offer ideas for how to include their memories in your wedding preparation. 

Weddings are a wonderful opportunity to pay homage to the past while also leaning into the future. The Old English rhyme, “Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, a sixpence for your shoe,” was thought to bring good luck to the bride and groom. You can learn more about the history of it here. If you are wondering how to incorporate a deceased loved one in a wedding this could be an ideal place for such an acknowledgement.  Depending on how significant a role the person played, there are a number of simple ways to honor a passed loved one at a wedding using the rhyme. You could display the vintage wedding dress of a cherished grandparent or relative. If you have a piece of jewelry that was given to you by the person, that would be another great “old” item. Even if you aren’t the owner of the piece of jewelry or clothing (think veil, tiara, or ring) you could ask to “borrow” the item for your special day. We’ll discuss wedding memorial candles in the next section but a personalized candle could fit the “new” category very easily! Ask your relatives what that person’s wedding day included and even “borrow” a moment. Maybe they had a special song playing as they danced that you could also play during the reception. Perhaps they served a certain type of cake and you could “borrow” that recipe or design. “Blue” could be a ribbon from your mother’s favorite apron, blue bonnets that reminded your dad of home or even your blue eyes that you got from your grandmother! 

Photographs are a meaningful way to share and acknowledge your loved ones with your guests. There are countless ways to incorporate pictures into your decor whether it’s collages, picture walls or banners, slideshows, or table decor. The Knot writes, "Photos of loved ones are always a nice idea, but recently I had a bride who had lost both her parents and so we dedicated the area all around the guest book to them and other family members that had passed. It was a countryside wedding in France, and so playing on the theme, we had a clothesline where people were invited to come and attach photos they had with said family members to the pegs for the couple to keep afterward. She also had some newspapers that her parents had been mentioned in and her teddy bear that her father had gifted her when she was little that had never left her side." What a special way to incorporate her parents into the day! Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box for ways that fit within your theme and color scheme but also allow for honoring those loved ones. 

A memorial candle can be used to display during the wedding, burn during the various wedding events, or be part of home decor for the happy couple. Many people choose to incorporate a unity candle lighting as part of the ceremony. That could be a way to include a personalized memorial candle to signify a loved one who is no longer alive. Consider choosing a special song that you shared with the deceased and have it play during a memorial candle lighting portion of the ceremony. Another option could be reading a poem or Bible verse as music plays and you light a memorial candle during the ceremony. Laurelbox offers a variety of memorial candles with various designs and customized text options. Each 100% all-natural soy wax candle will burn for up to 70 hours - plenty of time if you want to burn it during the rehearsal dinner and wedding festivities. The candles are exclusively made by laurelbox in small hand poured batches in our Ohio facility. They contain no additives or dyes and are made from the finest premium grade essential oils. Keep in mind our sister company, Candlehouse, offers unique engagement and wedding candles as well! 

We hope this blog gave you some wedding inspiration on how to acknowledge a passed loved one at a wedding. Your guests will appreciate your thoughtful inclusion of your loved one and you’ll look back years later so happy you took the time to acknowledge the role they played in your life. It will also be a great way to keep their memory alive each year as you look back on pictures and videos of the day. During the wedding planning process, get quiet and take some time to think through how you could incorporate their memory and legacy into this exciting next chapter of your life!